2014/10/09

Bert at the "Old Country"

My Bert just had an adventure of a life time. We went to Kenya, and even that we didn't see any Bert's real life relatives (I got the impression that they'd be more likely to met during the flooding season when they seem to be the royal pain in arse for local folk), it was very nice to see how the life is at the Equator.
Ready to go, "Hey, where is my passport? Should I have visa?"
"What is this, a shuttle under groud? Why do I need to take it, I don't have to walk anyway"
"It is good to streach my legs every now and then. Thank God the plane is big enough for all the gassoline it takes to fly Kenya."
"Finally we are here! No need for the sun hat though!"
"Ready when you are, now take me to my African adventure!"
"This bridge doesn't seem too secure, but I don't mind, I'm not the one getting the feet dirty..." 
"Tea plantation? Silly you, small hippoes don't drink tea, and nether should you!"
"Fabric shopping? Me likes! No, this is too bright even for small hippo, let me see..."
"Too many to choose!"
"That yellow would be nice"
"Or that red one"
"Hmmm... maybe one of these?"

"Noup, this is it! The perfect colour for you!"



"Look, I packed, can we now go to see my kin?"

"Obama? Should I have heard of this guy? Ouh, it is THE OTHER Obama I'm thinking of"
"Lake Simba and the Homa Hills, this is where I belong, and look all those thousands of flamingoes! I know, flamingoes are bad and bite, I have thick skin for it!"
"Did my wool come from those animals? Oh, they are goats, not sheep."
"The Lake Victoria, the accient home of the forefathers, Kenyapotamiae"
"Should I go for a swim? Like they did?"
"Seriously, I want to go there, but what if it cold?"
"The curse of Lake Victoria, the water lily that warms the water and prevents fisherman from fishing"
"My frist cactus! Right by the Lake Victoria"

"I know that hippoes don't climb on trees but I want to see how it looks there"

"Nearly there, this is getting heavy, do you have some sun screen and water for me, please?
"Yeah, that's why we don't climb, the branches are not made for hippoes, no matter small we are"
"Red leaves? No, they are flowers, why are there flowers but not leaves in this tree?"
"Well hello mates. Ou, it is thanks to you that I have sleep in that cell?"
(Cell like this, and no, it is not because of the gekkoes)
"Last stop before airport, the cridle of humankind, the Rift Valley"
"Hey, I'm thirsty, why aren't you serving to little hippoes?"
"Can I keep it please? It is so soft that I want to dive to it. I'm sure it is warm too." (Lucky for me, it is warm and soft, worth of every 1700 shillings I paid for it)
"Look, they have those shawls like the one you let me hold earlier!"
"These chaps weren't nearly as lively punch as the gekkoes were"
"The gardner has very dalistic point of view in the form, and his use of his machetti presents... Just kidding, what a small hippo would know about forms and art?"
(Seriously, they sell my favourite licorich in Kenya but not in Finland. Seriously??)
"All is good in the world, the Master of the house may continue his afternoon nap at the chair and the people stand around him ready to meet all his requirments, oy boy if hippoes were treated that way as well!"
"It did take the whole trip to climp on to palm tree and here I am, oh, this is not a palm tree? "
"You can't put a small hippo in charge of this much luggage! It is not fair!"
"Checking in for flight home, hey, WHERE is my passport?"
"Back at Heathrow, last leg of journey starting. See my new collar? Where are going next?"