2016/07/31

Searching Nessie

- When I'm going to get my own passport???
- Thank God, you won't need one, nor the vaccinations card either.

-That wasn't humiliating at all. Not a bit. Or how would you feel being xrayed through out?

- Moomin! My hero! you look much better in 3D.

- Are you Nessie? No? Is she your relative? Do you know where to find her?

- Little mermaid, can I tell you a story from the Old Country? There your kin is not well received, have you heard of the Nyawawa? You are not one? Are you?

- Now, this would be traveling with style, but you won't let me have it, do you?
- Sorry Bert

- Dr Livingstone, I assume? How was the Old Country when you were there?

- The best die always young. 

- Hey, I ain't a show case animal! Let me out!

- Do you know what is it?
- A gumball machine!
- No, silly Bert...

- Mons Meg... Could I be slinged by her to London? It should not be this cold there.

- Could I get one of those furry hats, if you make me stand here?

- My High Lady,  I hope it is not against your royal being to carry simple, humble hippo.

- I want that hat!

- See, that is propelly dressed guard. Why don't you make him to stand in guard?
- Well... Bert, you see, bag-pipper has other kinds of duties.

- What happened to your legs? It must be hard to walk on your hands

- Too bad we can't go to see the kelpies. And the yarn store is closed as well... Why did we come here?

- Sir knight, I'm so sorry for stumping on your foot, so clumsy of small hippo like me.

- So, you are saying that there weren't any hippoes in the history of this castle? Not even a smallest one?

- Hear thee, hear thee, my loayl followers, I'm Bert, house of Happypotamiea, first of his name and lord of this hall. Well, for now at least.

- That was nice castle and  everyhthing, but how about we'd continue to look for Nessie?

- Nessie! Well, shouldn't you be some where else, like in Loch Ness? None knows to look for you this south.

- Oh, you are a cousin. Right, nice lodgings you have here, own yarn store and all.

- So you are saying I have to wait whole 11 minutes for the next bus? How about todays adventure? Are you sure we won't miss it?

- Hey! This is too much. First the hat track and now this? How can you do this to me? You don't but hippoes on safety belts!!!

- No castles today? Yay, no steps either then.

Even Bert can't come up something witty to say about this. May they rest in peace. 

- Are you members of the union? No, should you be? Are they paying you enough of all the land scaping? Oh, you get to eat all you want? That sounds fair. Where can I sign up?

- This looks like the houses in the Old country. You are saying it is over three hundred years old? Wau.

- Can I pick the next adventure?
- Like I wouldn't know what you'll choose. We'll go to Loch Ness on Sunday.

- That Cumberlain fellow sure had big feet if it takes this big stone to mark where he stand.

- But you promised that we are going to see Nessie and now we are leavng Inverness?

- This ain't right and you know that. I should have a seat. Try to travel on hat rack and nap at the same time. You just can't do it. Just can't.

- We just came here to see this? Right. The journey was worth every second.

- Please, Royal Mail, don't lose my card.

- Can we come back here?
- Yes, we most certainly are coming back here.

- You've done this so many times I can handle this today. What, you printed the tickets already? How do I know now what's the next adventure?

- Aah, everything is right in the world.

- Watcha knit'g? It is my colour, is it something for me? A little bro perhaps? Lil Beth is so far a way and she almost never calls.
- Sorry Bert, it ain't for you. It is for a friend who is expecting.

- Hey, I don't take pictures of you when you weight yourself!
- If you take the round one and I take the one covered with chocolate? By the way, how did you end up here? Fancy meeting you here, I would've thought that you'd be more at home in home?

- Hear thee, hear thee, my loyal followers, I'm Bert, house of Happypotamiea, fist of his name and this is my throne. What, you won't let me keep this throne either?

- Look what I found!

- Age has done these stones just as soft as I'm. 

- Even small hippoes has to exercise to keep shape. Round is a shape.


- Greetings from Thurso!

- Are these all natural stones? They are so, so... smooth.

- I want to see what is in there! Why didn't you say what it was, I didn't need to see that.

- Mr. Paddington! My hero.
- Can you zoom in that I can point the routes we've taken?
(Two down, three to go)

- Did they had hippoes to pull this catapult here? This seems like lot for a just one hippo to push.

- Finally, here we are. Nessie, come up. NESSIE!!! I want to see you.

- No Nessie here either. Where is she?

- I'm not a guarding hippo, why won't you believe it? I only guard your food and knittings, not any castles.

-Nessie! Nes-siiii-ie! WHy isn't she coming to talk to me?

- Bert, you rascal!

- Bert, soon they'll ask us to leave if you won't start behaving yourself! 

- Could I have a sword? Or axe? Or bow? What? You think I would make a nice steed?
- Even small hippoes need some R&R every now and then.

- Bert! What did I say about the signs?

- Come down, now. I told you already, you have to behave!

- Why Nessie didn't come to see me, even if I came all across the Europe to meet her?

- Where have I heard that name before... It is the shawl you plan to knit, isn't it?
- Yes, as soon as I find time for it.

- What, ScottRail doesn't sell tickets to hippoes? is it why I have travel on hat rack every time?
- Yes.

- Haven't you seen many ruins enough?

- Do you think I might become as old as this tree?

- Well... maybe it was nice to see these ruins. And the tree. When I grow old, I want to be as big as it is.
- I won't carry you then, you know.

- Tropical waterfall, this is lie the Old country.

- Hello there! I haven't met any of your kin just yet. Nice to finally meet!

- How did you end up here? You come from the Old contry, like me, right?

- Are you Nessie? Another cousin? You sure have a big family!

- She has her own set of islands? In the middle of Inverness? Given how scarlesly she has been seen, she sure is popular. 

- And her own road?

- Hat rack again? Haven't we talked about this miljon times already???
( I have never crossed a line of industrial actions lightly, and this time it was especially difficult, as I physically had to cross the line. The tickets weren't for ScotRail, that made it little easier, but still.) 

- Doctor, are you there?

- Forget the Godzilla, here comes Bertzilla!

- Another Dr Livingstone?
- Nessie? My very own Nessie? You'll give her to Lil' Beth? That ain't right!!!

- Whole city for the dead? Are you sure they tolerate the living?

- Hopefully the dead have good maps, or they never find their way back to their own coffins when they go to haunt people. 

- This much common ivy makes it easy to believe that this place trully belongs to the dead. Nature will take back what is hers. 

- I don't want to go shopping. Can't we just sit here and I could watch you knit? It is so comfortable!

- Not another castle!

- Didn't we do this already once? 

- So you say this is Queens lodgings? Can I meet her? The previous Queen I met was so nice. 

- Bert! Get back here, now! 

- If these ain't the last ruins, I'm starting industrial actions against you!

- Home sweet home and Fergu <3

- Nice to meet you at last Fergu. 

- This is nice. Did we participate to this?
(Well... I forgot to mail the piece for Fergu)
My route was Edinburgh-Falkirk-Stirling-Inverness-Uig-Thurso-Beauly-Glasgow-Edinburgh, totaly of 12 days.
Thanks for the unforgetable trip to so many people, Knitters in Thurso library, Gary in High Street Hostel in Inverness, Kathy in Kathy's Knits in Edinburgh and salesperson in Ginger Twist Studio in Edinburgh, ladies at MacAcree Brothers in Stirling, ScotRail personel, Royal Mile Backpackers in Edinburgh, High Street Hostel in Inverness and my fellow backpackers around the world.

I would replace the words "Hollywood Hills" with words "Scottish Highlands". We will meet again.